Last weekend I completed the Chicago Marathon. I’m number 17530! I’m number 17530! It’s been a long spring/summer training to get there and I can’t be more proud of myself for finishing.

After spending a good portion of my summer running around with no destination for hours on end plus seeing me struggle to keep myself moving during miles 22-26 of the run AND THEN seeing me barely be able to walk up and down stairs for a couple days after the race, people wonder “Why the hell would anyone do that?”.

This is an attempt to explain my mindset and why I keep looking to do these kinds of things.

We have a lot of things every day that we do. As a programmer, I spend a lot of time in front of a computer solving small problems for hours. A user doing something unexpected 1 out of 100,000 times is a bug and I will often spend hours just fixing and solving an issue that happens infrequently.

Sometimes, I can fix those bugs quickly and I get this little rush of happiness that comes with fixing a problem quickly and efficiently. “I am important”, my brain must say, “because I solved someone’s problem today”.

Of course there are some days when it seems like the issues just keep piling up and it seems as if nothing is getting fixed. Issues drag on and the more that I get into the weeds, the more that the forest seems to be coming down around me. “Geez…why is this little problem so unsolvable?” I imagine all of the business owners must be thinking the same thing and wondering if I’m competent to do my job.

In other words, on a daily basis doing work is not a guaranteed success. Some days feel successful, others just feel like I’m failing.

But when I run, I feel like all successful.

You see, when I start running, I know I’m going to finish. It doesn’t matter if I finish running, walking, or crawling, I know I’m going to finish. It’s a guaranteed success as long as I don’t let my mind from getting in the way. It’s up to only me if I’m going to be successful or not.

So, when I’m out there running, whether it’s 2 miles or 26.2, I know that I can be successful and I’m the only key to success. No pesky users, business owners, or variable browser compatibility to get in my way. Just me. And everytime that I complete a run, I carry that success with me for the rest of the day. As you can imagine, it feels pretty good. Almost addicting in a sense.

Which is why, even before I’m fully recovered, I’m looking for my next marathon…